Chapter 12

I wonder why I'm being scolded right now. "Pabo! Why'd you run nonstop? What are you thinking? Do you want to collapse or something?" Doojoon scratched his head messing up his perfectly styled hair. "Ah! Chincha!"

"You're gonna ruin your hair." I said.

"My hair? You're worried about my hair?" He let a mocking laugh out. "Are you serious?"

"I am." Annoyance slowly creeping up, but I'm still trying to keep my cool. If none of us doesn't it'll be chaotic. "You're an idol and besides why are you even getting worked up about this?" As the words came out of my mouth, the tone of my voice changed each time a word was said.

"You almost passed out in front of me! If you don't care about yourself, I do, for Christ sake!"

"But I didn't pass out, so what's your problem?! As you said, it's me, so I can do whatever I want!" There goes my cool.

"You almost did! Why do you keep pushing yourself to the limit. Don't you think I've noticed?" I saw his jaw set, it's a sign that he's totally serious. I was about to say something back, but closed it immediately. I won't win anyway. He was walking towards me, I backed up into the wall. "Don't. Ever. Do. That. Again."

My heart pounded hard in my chest when I saw his face. His face was a mixture of anger, fear, and anguish. I couldn't bare to look at it, I looked away. He leaned his arm on the wall, trapping me more. But I don't want to get away, not anymore. My heart beat faster when I felt him touch my hair. I heard a whisper, I don't know from who, the beating of my heart was deafening. "Mi." A little louder now and I was sure that it was Doojoon who said my name. I faced him, slowly, trying to calm the pounding of my heart.

It quickened as our eyes met. My breathing become ragged and I bet he noticed. His hand, now on my cheek, caressing it. "Gwenchana?" He breathily said. I felt his hot breath on my face and it felt good. I nodded in response and a tiny smile showed on his lips. His hand trailed down my cheek to my chin. Our breathing quickened both in response of the intimacy. His face inched close to mine. I closed my eyes slowly, anticipating what's about to happen. I waited.

His breath's hotter now. His face closer. I waited. I felt his lips, his soft lips, brushed mine. Jolts of electricity went up and down my spine, making my knees weak. I pressed my back on the wall for more support. My eyes still closed, and my body still tingling from the friction of our lips. I waited, but nothing more happened. My eyes fluttered open and I saw his head down, both arms leaning on the wall, trapping me in between.

"Doo... Joon..." I said while trying to even out my breathing. "What's wrong?"

He looked up, his face unreadable. "I... I'm sorry." He said as he walked away and left me there. I collapsed into a crouch, confused.



"You made a deal with her?!" I paced back and forth, my hand ran through my hair. "I... I don't get it. Why would you do that?!" I said as he slammed my hands on the polished table.

"I'm just doing what a president of a company should do to protect one of his company's talents. I'm protecting you from the public, in some way I'm protecting the girl too." He said calmly. A smile showed on his face, but it's not near to being friendly. "Doojoon-ah, you have to understand, in the business you're into, when you're fans finds out that you're very... attached, let's say, to a certain girl." He paused. " They're going to eat her alive."

I know that. I saw it happened once, in school when I first talked to her. She got pushed down and talked shit to. I just stood back and did nothing. I thought that by staying back, I'd be less interested in her when I see with my own eyes what will happen to someone I wanted to get close to. But the opposite happened when I saw that she just shrugged everything off. That she didn't care and still came with me. I admired her.

The old man behind the furnished table, placed his elbows on it's glossy surface. "As I was saying, we already made a deal that you can't change."

Defeated, I asked again, "What's the deal?"



How can she be so stupid? It's so frustrating to not be able to do anything for someone important to you when you know that you're the reason for it. Exhausted, I dragged myself out of my room to the bathroom. A cold shower seems to be so appealing right now. After taking all of my clothes, I turned on the shower to adjust the temperature. I stepped in and let the water soak me from head to toe. It did made me feel a little bit better.

In the past two weeks, I pushed myself hard. I worked schedule after schedule. In a day I only get sleep in the car going to one of my schedules to another. They were little naps. The other members were worried and kept asking what's wrong with me and why I've been working myself to death. I just shrug them off, saying that I'm not in the mood. Thinking about it, I've been harsh to them.

After quickly rinsing the soap on my body, I quickly went out of the bathroom to my room to change. I heard the boys in the living room, probably watching soccer. It is the World Cup season. Now standing in front of the living room door, hesitating if I should come in or not. I know, I've hurt them. Ignored them. But what if they're ma-

My trail of thoughts were cut off when the door suddenly opened and Yoseob stood before it. "Hyung, are you gonna come in or not?" He flashed a cheeky smile, showing his dimples. I sometimes wonder if he really is our maknae or not.

"Yeah, hyung! Come on!" Dongwoon called out. "You can still make it. The second half's is just about to start."

"But... How do you... guys know?" I asked, confused. I scratched my head in the process, messing up my newly brushed hair.

"Did you forget that we can see through the door?" Junhyung laughed. Oh. Right. I went in and sat down on the floor besides Yoseob and Hyunseung. Kikwang, Junhyung, and Dongwoon were on the sofa. Through the whole 2nd half, I felt like nothing had changed after how I acted two weeks ago. Thinking about it, I suddenly muttered, "Mian, guys."

I felt a hand on my shoulder, it's Junhyung. I looked around and all five of them were looking at me with smiles on their faces. We're Beast.



I'm so confused. As of right now, I don't think I can stick to the deal I made. My heart still beats fast whenever I think about what happened. My lips still feels his lips on it. My body still shivers whenever it remembers how his hot breath felt on my skin. I'm in such a sweet mess especially when he just left.