Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Chapter 13

A confusing feeling suddenly confirmed by a sweet mistake. Still denying the fact that it was all a lie. My mind told me to stay away from it, leave it in the dark. But my heart protested like it never protested before.


The hot caress on my face, the hot breath on my skin, and the voice that makes my body tingle in undescribable pleasure. All but a sweet nightmare. Bound to not come true because of one deal to devil.


"Annyeonghaseyo." A soft voice interrupted my thoughts. I looked up from the food I've been playing with since I got lost in my own world and saw a pretty, short haired girl standing in front of me while holding her tray. I smiled and greeted her back.

"Do you mind me sitting here?" She looked around, avoiding the glances and stares of people in the cafeteria.

"Yeah. Go ahead." I pointed at the chair right in front of me. "I don't mind at all." I smiled again. She looked like a nice girl.

She sat down hesitantly and took some time to get comfortable on her seat. When she did, she flashed a smile that can make guys swoon under her feet instantly. "Uhm.. I'm Mika." She smiled again and my attention was focused on her sharp features and tantalizing eyes.

"I'm Hyunmi." I flashed a smile. Not as pretty as hers, but it's a friendly one. We're going to get along. I just know it.



"Hyung! Come on! We're about to leave." Junhyung called out while walking towards the gate. We're heading to the Philippines for our 'tour'. It's our first stop and will end it in Japan. Just thinking about it makes me tired, but the experiences me and my group will encounter will be a great lesson... or two. Plus it will be enjoyable. But there's some... thing that's been holding me back.

"Doo~Joon-ah~" A voice rang through the crowd. I looked around and found a dark-brown haired boy waving at my direction. "DooJoon hyung~! Kaja! We're going to leave~ you~!"

I smiled and made my way through the crowd and joined my members. Hyunseung's listening to his iPod. Kikwang was bugging Dongwoon for food. Yoseob and Junhyung were waiting for me to reach them. "Mian. I was... just thinking."

"We know." Both of them said. We started walking when a figure caught up with me. I saw his curly, orange-y hair and knew exactly who it was. He leaned in until his mouth was kissing my ears to conceal the message that made my blood boil.



"Yah, Mika! Are you crazy?!" I panted as I ran towards Mika. Don't let her looks deceive you because this girl have a lot of things hidden under her sleeves. I'm still trying to figure them all out. And it's not an easy thing to do.

"You're so slow." She ran her hand through her bangs and swept it to the side. I swear it's like watching a scene in the movies. The movements were all perfect. "What? Why are you looking?"

"Huh? Nothing." I stood up from a crouch. "Why are we here anyway?" All I saw were foreigners walking around and some Korean. I'm still confused to why we're here at the airport. Early this morning, she barged in my room and ordered me to dress up because she said that we're going out. But it was 6 o'clock in the morning! She's lucky that my parent's loves her and lets her come over anytime.

"You'll see." She's so mysterious. It matches her pail skin and gray eyes. She won't tell me if they're contacts or not though. Aigoo~ She told me to figure it out by myself.

Mika grabbed my arm and dragged me through the crowd. We were hitting mostly everyone but she didn't care. I was stuck apologizing to each and everyone of them. "Yah! You crazy woman!" I stopped on my tracks. "Where are you taking me?!"

She looked at her watch and looked back up. "We're almost there. Trust me."

Ugh. I hate it when she uses that word on me. She knows that I can't resist her. She's my only friend, well besides 'them'.

I looked around and saw someone very familiar. My heart started beating fast, my body trembling, and I went to a complete stop. I didn't even notice Mika come by my side and started pushing me towards that person. He's wearing a black shirt and jeans, his messenger bag to the side. Hyunseung leaning in his ear, saying something.

"Oppa. Yah, oppa!" Mika yelled and I was surprised. Oppa? Who? Does she know them? Which one? "OPPA!" Her voice echoed and both Doojoon and Hyunseung looked back. Doojoon's eyes went wider than it's original size. Hyunseung's stoic, like he's been expecting us.

"Ah, Mika." He motioned us to come closer. "You guys are here. I thought you won't make it." He petted Mika's head and she glared at him. "I did what you said." She told him.

"I know." He looked at me with those beautiful eyes. I... feel uncomfortable with him but I can at least admit that he has nice gorgeous eyes... Like Mika's. Wait. "Are you guys... you know?"

"What? Say it."

"Siblings?"

"Yep." They sad together.

"WHAT?!" Me and Doojoon looked at each other. I immediately looked away because I felt my cheeks burning deep red.

"Come on, Mika. We're going to be late. Leave them alone." Mika followed his brother, but stopped and looked back. She glared at Doojoon, which I don't clearly understand, and walked away leaving us alone in a very crowded place.

Friday, June 11, 2010

Chapter 12

I wonder why I'm being scolded right now. "Pabo! Why'd you run nonstop? What are you thinking? Do you want to collapse or something?" Doojoon scratched his head messing up his perfectly styled hair. "Ah! Chincha!"

"You're gonna ruin your hair." I said.

"My hair? You're worried about my hair?" He let a mocking laugh out. "Are you serious?"

"I am." Annoyance slowly creeping up, but I'm still trying to keep my cool. If none of us doesn't it'll be chaotic. "You're an idol and besides why are you even getting worked up about this?" As the words came out of my mouth, the tone of my voice changed each time a word was said.

"You almost passed out in front of me! If you don't care about yourself, I do, for Christ sake!"

"But I didn't pass out, so what's your problem?! As you said, it's me, so I can do whatever I want!" There goes my cool.

"You almost did! Why do you keep pushing yourself to the limit. Don't you think I've noticed?" I saw his jaw set, it's a sign that he's totally serious. I was about to say something back, but closed it immediately. I won't win anyway. He was walking towards me, I backed up into the wall. "Don't. Ever. Do. That. Again."

My heart pounded hard in my chest when I saw his face. His face was a mixture of anger, fear, and anguish. I couldn't bare to look at it, I looked away. He leaned his arm on the wall, trapping me more. But I don't want to get away, not anymore. My heart beat faster when I felt him touch my hair. I heard a whisper, I don't know from who, the beating of my heart was deafening. "Mi." A little louder now and I was sure that it was Doojoon who said my name. I faced him, slowly, trying to calm the pounding of my heart.

It quickened as our eyes met. My breathing become ragged and I bet he noticed. His hand, now on my cheek, caressing it. "Gwenchana?" He breathily said. I felt his hot breath on my face and it felt good. I nodded in response and a tiny smile showed on his lips. His hand trailed down my cheek to my chin. Our breathing quickened both in response of the intimacy. His face inched close to mine. I closed my eyes slowly, anticipating what's about to happen. I waited.

His breath's hotter now. His face closer. I waited. I felt his lips, his soft lips, brushed mine. Jolts of electricity went up and down my spine, making my knees weak. I pressed my back on the wall for more support. My eyes still closed, and my body still tingling from the friction of our lips. I waited, but nothing more happened. My eyes fluttered open and I saw his head down, both arms leaning on the wall, trapping me in between.

"Doo... Joon..." I said while trying to even out my breathing. "What's wrong?"

He looked up, his face unreadable. "I... I'm sorry." He said as he walked away and left me there. I collapsed into a crouch, confused.



"You made a deal with her?!" I paced back and forth, my hand ran through my hair. "I... I don't get it. Why would you do that?!" I said as he slammed my hands on the polished table.

"I'm just doing what a president of a company should do to protect one of his company's talents. I'm protecting you from the public, in some way I'm protecting the girl too." He said calmly. A smile showed on his face, but it's not near to being friendly. "Doojoon-ah, you have to understand, in the business you're into, when you're fans finds out that you're very... attached, let's say, to a certain girl." He paused. " They're going to eat her alive."

I know that. I saw it happened once, in school when I first talked to her. She got pushed down and talked shit to. I just stood back and did nothing. I thought that by staying back, I'd be less interested in her when I see with my own eyes what will happen to someone I wanted to get close to. But the opposite happened when I saw that she just shrugged everything off. That she didn't care and still came with me. I admired her.

The old man behind the furnished table, placed his elbows on it's glossy surface. "As I was saying, we already made a deal that you can't change."

Defeated, I asked again, "What's the deal?"




How can she be so stupid? It's so frustrating to not be able to do anything for someone important to you when you know that you're the reason for it. Exhausted, I dragged myself out of my room to the bathroom. A cold shower seems to be so appealing right now. After taking all of my clothes, I turned on the shower to adjust the temperature. I stepped in and let the water soak me from head to toe. It did made me feel a little bit better.

In the past two weeks, I pushed myself hard. I worked schedule after schedule. In a day I only get sleep in the car going to one of my schedules to another. They were little naps. The other members were worried and kept asking what's wrong with me and why I've been working myself to death. I just shrug them off, saying that I'm not in the mood. Thinking about it, I've been harsh to them.

After quickly rinsing the soap on my body, I quickly went out of the bathroom to my room to change. I heard the boys in the living room, probably watching soccer. It is the World Cup season. Now standing in front of the living room door, hesitating if I should come in or not. I know, I've hurt them. Ignored them. But what if they're ma-

My trail of thoughts were cut off when the door suddenly opened and Yoseob stood before it. "Hyung, are you gonna come in or not?" He flashed a cheeky smile, showing his dimples. I sometimes wonder if he really is our maknae or not.

"Yeah, hyung! Come on!" Dongwoon called out. "You can still make it. The second half's is just about to start."

"But... How do you... guys know?" I asked, confused. I scratched my head in the process, messing up my newly brushed hair.

"Did you forget that we can see through the door?" Junhyung laughed. Oh. Right. I went in and sat down on the floor besides Yoseob and Hyunseung. Kikwang, Junhyung, and Dongwoon were on the sofa. Through the whole 2nd half, I felt like nothing had changed after how I acted two weeks ago. Thinking about it, I suddenly muttered, "Mian, guys."

I felt a hand on my shoulder, it's Junhyung. I looked around and all five of them were looking at me with smiles on their faces. We're Beast.



I'm so confused. As of right now, I don't think I can stick to the deal I made. My heart still beats fast whenever I think about what happened. My lips still feels his lips on it. My body still shivers whenever it remembers how his hot breath felt on my skin. I'm in such a sweet mess especially when he just left.

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Chapter 11

Before I came back to the dorm, I called my mom and it looked like she already know what happened and let me skip school for one more day. I don't want to go to school. Not now at least.

I was dropped of by the president's driver in front of the boys' apartment. I walked towards it, every step gets heavier. The president's voice kept replaying in my mind like a broken record. I couldn't block it out. I can't push it back to the murky depths of my brain where I can't get access to it.

"Ms. Kim, you do know that they are still a rookie and they still have a long way to go in this business." He paused. I nodded. "Good that you know. You're a smart girl, Ms. Kim. I know you are. So, I assume that I don't have to say the words out loud."

I perfectly know what he was talking about, but all of me objects and denies it. "I... do." It came out with a struggle, like a part of me was taken away from me. "But, I won't stay away. We're just friends and that's all it will be between us." I tried to keep a straight face, to not show him that the inside me wants to pounce him.

"Ha! Of course you won't." He placed his arms on the table and leaned closer. He continued, "Let's make a deal, Ms. Kim. I will let you be by his side. As a friend. But, when-"

"Hyunmi! Yah! Kim Hyunmi!" I shook my head and it took my mind of to everything that just happened. "Hyunmi, are you there?" I saw Doojoon's face near mine, I felt my hearbeat quickened. NO! A voice in my head screamed.

"I'm ok, oppa. Could you move? I want to rest. Mi ahn." I said. I walked inside their dorm, the president's voice still echoing in my mind. "But, when you feel like you're falling for him, you have to leave or if you choose not to, I will take him off Beast and I'm sure you don't want that to happen seeing how close you, him, and the other boys have become. So, do we have a deal, Ms. Kim?"




"I'm hungry!" Kikwang whined. "Hyung! Junhyung hyung! Is it done yet?" He turned on the sofa that he was laying down on. His stomach facing down, his head on the pillow.

"It's almost ready." Junhyung answered. "Is food and your body the only things you think about?" He took the pan and transferred its contents in a bowl. He called the rest of us for dinner after.

"Yeah." Kikwang said. "You know that I'm always hungry and my body is what made us popular. Right, Mi?" He gave me a nod and I answered him with a laugh.

"Mi, don't listen to him." Yoseob covered my ears. "Yah! Why are you so full of yourself?" A question that everyone besides Kikwang agreed to.

"No, I'm not. I'm just stating the truth. Hmph." He pouted and he looked cute and adorable. To make it short, childish. We all laughed like nothing happened earlier.



"Oppa, you ok?" I asked. We already finished dinner. Junhyung, Yoseob, and Dongwoon stayed in the kitchen to clean up. Kikwang went to his room and Hyunseung went to take a shower. Doojoon left the kitchen silently thinking that no one will notice him gone, but I did. I followed him in the empty living room.

"Yeah." He muttered. He didn't look at me while he did. He intently stared at... nothing. I sat beside him, ignoring the tickling feeling that my body felt when we made contact accidentaly.

I sat there with him. Both of us not saying anything to each other. The silence between us was not awkward, rather it was comfortable. I felt him shift his weight. I looked up from my hands and saw him looking at me. My stomach tightened. "What?" I asked, slightly backing up.

"What did you talk about with seongsaengnim?" he asked straight to the point.

"To leave you alone." I said frankly.

"Will you?"

"Aniyo."

He sighed in relief. "Thank god. Wait." He's smart, why did I think that he'll just believe what I said. "That doesn't make sense. He just won't let you stay like that. Is there anything you're not telling me?" I tensed.

I tried to relax myself and forced myself to look at him in the eyes without averting them from his. "Aniyo. That's all we talked about. He said fine."

"Are you sure?"

"Ne." I gulped.

"Yah, hyung. Don't you need to drop her off to her house now? It's late." Junhyung said as he walked in the living room with Yoseob and Dongwoon on his trail.

He took his eyes of me and looked at the clock that said 11:00pm. "True. Come on. I'll drive you home." I sighed in relief silently. "Ok." I replied.



Two weeks had passed since the paparazzi incident. I haven't seen any of the boys ever since then. I go to the same school as Doojoon, but I don't see him there. They're probably busy with their schedules. I told myself.

Since I came back to school, it had been tough for me. The three biggest fangirls in school targeted me. Writing nasty stuff on my notebook, dumping my text books in the trash, or 'not' intentionally pushing me. They did much more, but I'd rather not tell.

"Yah!" Here they come. I ignored them and kept walking towards the library. It's my only sanctuary because they're 'allergic' to it. Lucky for me. "Yah! Don't ignore me bitch!" I heard their heels making contact with the floor much faster. I walked faster. "Yah! I called you didn't I?!" I felt skinny fingers grab my right arm and forcefully turned me around. I lost grip on my book, big books, and it came down right at her perfectly manicured feet. "OUCH!" I backed away.

"OUCH!" she yelped. "BITCH! YOU DID THAT ON PURPOSE, DIDN'T YOU?!" She kicked my books and limped her way towards me.

"Nope. Not at all." I shook my head and looked at her innocently. "But to tell you the truth, that was rather entertaining."

Her face burned crimson red as she walked towards me, digging her heels to the ground. "So you're acting tough now huh? Why? Because you know Beast? I know Beast too. They're one of the popular idol groups right now. I see them all the time too, in TV shows and music programs. Do you think you're better than us?" She glowered at me. I looked at her in the eyes, not backing out. I stood my ground and I'm not going to cower because of her. Never.

"Ha!" I challenged her. "I know you do. A lot of people does. But do you know that Kikwang whines annoyingly everytime he's hungry? That he stomps his feet like a kid. That Yoseob does not act like a maknae at home like what he does in shows? He acts much more mature." I breathed in. "Dongwoon, the maknae, he has a lot of aegyo behind his not so maknae like appearance? Junhyung. That oppa cooks for his members all the time even when they're not that good. He's the umma as you all know him, but from what I've seen, there is much more in 'umma'. Hyunseung knows how to have fun. He's just insecure in shows because of what happened back then. And Doojoon..." What about Doojoon? I can say a lot about him, but... "See... Doojoon... Doojoon is a-"

I realized that I miss him so much. All of them. For such a short time, I've become dependent on them, my only friends. All the things that happened when I was in their dorms for two short days came rushing in my head. Overwhelmed, I backed a step and I shook the images away.

"I don't have time for you and your crazy fangirl antics." I turned around, but I felt cold hands on my arm, nails digging to my skin.

"No, bitch. You're staying with me and we're going to have a little TALK." she said putting an emphasis on the word 'talk'. She turned the other way, yanking me with her in the process.

I tried to free my arm, but she has a death grip on me. I may be sick, but I'm not that weak physically. I noticed that she's struggling to keep a hold of my arm as I continued pulling it off her grip. "Let. go. of. me!" I yanked my arm. Hard. I broke free, but with a scratch. Bitch have deadly, manicured nails too. I bet she can take an eye out or two with those things. I will go run away from her before she tried it out on me.

"I'll give you an advice, I know you're a fangirl and all, but being a crazy one is not very appealing even to idols. So, bring it down a notch. It will help you in so many ways, like having a life maybe." I witnessed he eye widened, face burning, and jaw clenching.

She lunged at me, but I evaded her. "Don't mess with me!" she hissed as she lunges again trying to grab a hold of me again. I won't let her. "I don't get why it wasn't me. Why you?!"

"I wanna know why me too." I mumbled. "I don't have time for you, see. Homeworks. So leave me alone already!" My voice came out louder than usual. My breathing became harsher as I try to evade her. She's crazy. Huff... Huff. I don't think I'd last for another minute... or less.

I stopped on my tracks and put my hand out in front of me. "I have a proposal." I huffed, trying to catch my breath. She stopped looking confused. "What?"

"I'll..." I took another breath as I bend down to get my books. I felt her eyes following my every move, like a predator watching his prey and I am sadly the prey. "I'll give you a rain check and we can continue this lunging and evading game of yours. Araso?" I said and I ran away.



"You... Pabo!" I scolded myself as I leaned my back on the concrete wall. I ran as far as behind the last building of the campus. "You're sick... and... you ran... like... that." I slipped into a crouch, head on my knees. I'm getting dizzy.

The hot, burning feeling of the sun on my back wasn't helping either. Actually, it's making everything much worse. After some time, I finally caught my breath, but the dizziness didn't ease. I'm afraid to raise my head because I'm afraid that it may fall back down. I stayed in a crouching position.

I felt the sun off my back for sometime now and it felt good. I started to relax until... "You pabo!"

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Chapter 10

I don't really know what's happening around me right now. I hear a lot of clicks and I see flashes of bright lights even though my eyes were closed and his arms were covering them for me.

I know that he doesn't know that I know that he's Yoon Doojoon of Beast. I also got the impression that he doesn't want to tell me. Why? Does he think that I don't have a TV? Or does he wish that I don't? For what reason?

I can't seem to think of any possible answer to my question. Instead of thinking about it, I drowned out the clicks and voices all around me by burying my face on his chest. His quickening heartbeat oddly calmed me down. I didn't even know that my body tensed so much.

I hear his voice as he talked to someone. But who? I focused on what he was saying. Apparently, he was talking on his phone. "Jun, I need your help."

"We're near the bus stop near the dorm. Ok. Worst case scenario, man. I know. I shouldn't have done it. I know."

I don't know what's happening around us, but a gut feeling told me not to do anything at that moment. I stood still as I grabbed Doojoon's shirt tightly. He responded by tightening his hold on me. I felt secured.

All I heared were clicks from cameras and voices from the people who were carrying them. Blocking didn't work when they became louder, unbearable to the ear. They sent chills to my spine, making the hair at the back of my neck stood up. I feel that all these will be life changing.



"Doojoon, you're the leader, you should've thought about this more responsibly before doing it. You're an idol, you know that people will follow you everywhere you go and would want to know everything about you. I know as well as you that when you decided to pursue this career that you would barely have privacy." A middle aged man was standing in front of them. His face was as gentle as an aboejji, but his voice was full of authority that made everyone in the room with him listen to him intently.

Doojoon was seating on a different seat than mine, but close enough for me to feel the burden being put back on his back. I didn't dare to look at him in the eye ever since the papparazzis were dispersed. I felt guilty. Guilty for not telling him that I knew that he's an idol, if I did, none of this would've happened.

I looked down at my now trembling hands. Holding them together wasn't enough to stop the trembling. This is not good. Where's my purse? I tried not to panic because it will only add to the stress building up inside me and I tried to not do anything to disturb anything. I was about to grab my purse when...

"Ms. Kim,..." My head snapped to face the person who called my name. His old, brown eyes locked on mine as they met. "Do you know or not that Doojoon here is an idol?"

"I... I..." My stress went up a notch. I hate being on the spot that's why I always sit at the back of every class I have. "I... d-do." I stuttured. I looked at Doojoon and saw his face full of shock... and sadness?

"If you did, what is your reason for getting close to him? A fan of him? Trying to brag to your friends about the fact that you know him and the othe-"

"No. Stop it." Doojoon interrupted him. "She's not like that."

"How do you know how she is or she isn't? As you said, you've only met two weeks ago and she's the reason why you were late for your schedule." The old man said calmly.

"'Cause I know, ok?!" He tried to calm himself down. "I just know. She's also not the reason why I was late."

"So tell us."

He looked at me trying to search for assurance. Assurance for what? "I..." He inhaled. "I went out to have some fun. It's my fault, not hers."

What was he doing? "But, opp-" He walked towards me, blocking the view of the man we were talking to. "Don't." He whispered. "But!" He shook his head 'no'.

Frustrated, I sat back down. I felt a hand on my shoulder. I looked up and it was Hyunseung's. It felt weird and uncomfortable at the same time. Frustration, stress, and confusion well up inside me ready to burst then. My breaths were heavy and unbareable. I stood up suddenly and it surprised everyone in the room. I felt their eyes on me, but I didn't care and walked towards the door. I felt dizzier every step I took and all went black. The only thing I remembered was Doojoon's voice calling my name, "MI!"



I woke up in an unfamiliar room. I was on a bunk bed. The room looked like a guys. It was full of clothes like a clothing store just dumped their shirts in there. It was dark outside when I peeked through the window. I looked at the clock beside the bed and it said it was 3am. "What?!"

I heard shuffling from my rigth and it was when I just noticed the figure sitting on the chair, sleeping. It was Doojoon. Looking at him made my stomach tighten. He looked so tired and stressed. Does some part of it because of me? I thought.

I stood up from the bed with a blanket on my arms. I walked over to where he's at and draped it on his shoulders, covering him from the cold. Also hoping that it will protect him from everything else as I dragged myself out the bedroom door. I wanted to forget what happened, but a part of me doesn't.



Doojoon woke up when the bright sunlight hit his face. He slowly opened his lids and blinked away the sleep. He looked at the clock and it said it's 8 o'clock in the morning. He rubbed his eyes and... "Hyunmi?!" All the things that happened last night came rushing to his mind. No. I can't let her go by herself now. His heartbeat quickened. He stood up suddenly, not remembering that his back is near the corner of his desk, "AHH!"

He heard someone running from outside and his door flew open. "Hyung! Did something happen?" Kikwang asked as he opened the door fully. "Pfft. You really look like an ajjushi right now." He laughed.

"Shut up!" He straightened his back, but it was still hurting. "Can't you see that I'm hurt? Aish."

"Mi ahn! Anyways, you're awake now. Let's eat"

"Alrig- Wait. Where's Hyunmi?"

"Huh? I don't know. I just woke up myself too then Junhyung hyung asked me to wake you up to eat breakfast."

"Aish!" Annoyed, he went out his room and made his way to the kitchen. "Yah, kids! Did any of you see Hyunmi?"

Junhyung, Hyunseung, Yoseob, and Dongwoon looked at him like he was delirious or something. He can't tell whether they see his distress or not. "What? Don't tell me she stubbornly told you guys that she's leaving. I'm going to kill her before our fans do. I swear. You know how crazy others are?!" Yoseob and Dongwoon looked at each other and burst out laughing. Junhyung and Hyunseung snickered.

"Ahh... Hyung." Kikwang poked my arm. "What?!" He pointed behind me while he's trying to hide his... laugh? I turned.



"Yah! Kim Hyunmi! Don't ignore me! I already said sorry." He said. He kept following me since this morning trying to say sorry. I still don't talk to him, not that I'm mad. I wasn't. Not at all, but I kind of enjoying him following me around like this.

"Hyung, I have and advice for you. Never call any woman stubborn." Kikwang said.

"Yeah. Listen to him, Doojoonie. Besides, he's the playboy here." Yoseob added.

"You guys, shut up. You're making it worse." He scolded. I can't keep myself from laughing and it came out as a snort. "Yah. Why are you lau- Were you pretending?"

"Hahaha! I wasn't!" I ran and hid behind Junhyung. "Yah. Come here!" I side stepped thinking I can deceive him. I was quick you know, back in the day. But he quickly changed direction and caught me in his arms. Shoot. I forgot that he used to play soccer.

"Ahhh! Oppa, mi ahn! Stop it!" He kept tickling me. My chest started burning. No, I can't let them know. Please, no. "Oppa!" My voice became ragged. The other guys were laughing, Doojoon was busy making me suffer that we didn't hear the door opened and closed. "Oppa!" I hit him. Hard.

"Ouch! Hey! You can't do tha-"

"Kids." We all stopped. Our heads snapped to the direction of the voice. Our eyes went wide like our eyeballs will fall out of their sockets. Their company president stood there eminating an aura that I didn't like at all.

"Ms. Kim, I need to talk to you." Doojoon put me down and was about to say something when the man who stood before us held his hand up. "Doojoon, if one word comes out of that mouth, I'll make sure you'll regret it."

I looked at Doojoon, his face set and jaw tight. Not if I do something. It's not gonna happen. I need to do something. "Alright. I'll talk to you." I felt his arms grabbed my side. It hurt, but I know how he's feeling: he's being protective even though he knows that he can't do anything.

I seem to know him, what he feels, and what his reaction will be, even though we've only met not so long ago. There's a connection between us that I can't explain.

I made him look at me. "It's ok." It's time to be strong and face all of it.

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Chapter 9 - Doojoon's POV

I had fun. I think she did too. I know that I was being too protective of her, but I couldn't help it. I feel something in me that I need to protect her, even from my own friends and members. I still don't understand this feeling that I get from the pit of my stomach when we stand close, close enough where I can feel the heat radiating from her body. It makes something in my stomach twist tighter that it was unbareable. I want to get closer, be someone who others can't be.

I saw that she really enjoyed herself. She laughed and opened a whole lot up. It was a good idea to bring her here to meet the members, but a bad one as well.

I saw Hyunseung's glances to her. I want to tell him off, but I don't think she noticed them. I shrug it off to the back of my mind, wishing that I could unsee them. Hyunseung doesn't really pay attention to girls, but something triggered him to act that way. I knew Hyunseung, as a friend and as a member of our group, but I really never knew him when it comes to this. That's what I realized.

I forgot all about it when we played truth or dare. Yoseob and Kikwang were dorks and I hope they didn't scare her away. CreeperJun's one of the things I'm worried she won't get along with, but in a short time they were talking informally to each other. So it's all good. She talked to the other members a lot, but said little to Hyunseung. Or was it just me.

Kikwang spat the soda on Yoseob's face and I 'helped' him to clean himself up. But it's more life laughing at his face. When we got back, I saw Hyunseung holding Mi's hand, she tried to pull it out of his, he didn't let go. He squeezed her hand before letting go when he heard us coming.

Insticts took over and I walked towards her, trapping her. She thinks it's a joke, but to me it's an act of being territorial. I hope he got the message before it turns ugly.

I walked her to the bus stop. We were both silent, but it's not awkward. The breeze lifted her hair gently and it covered her face. She didn't bother brushing it off her face, so I did. Gently, I brushed off the hair that covered her face. My fingers slightly came in contact with her soft skin. It sent chills up and down my spine.

"Thank yo-" Click. What the hell was that? I looked around. Nothing. Another click and another one. I kept looking, straining my eyes to clearly see in the dark, but my human eyes were my limitations until a blinding flash hurt my eyes.

No. No no no no. Not now. I pulled her to me, hoping that it will protect her from the ugly truth of my world.

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Chapter 8

We talked as we ate. It was really fun. I totally forgot about what happened earlier. I didn't know who they were talking about at first, but thinking about it now, I concluded that it's Doojoon. He's famous and it can't be helped that others will obsess over him. He's very good looking. I'd be stupid if I denied it. But I wondered why he hasn't talked about him being famous...

"Yah. Are you listening to me?" He waved his hand in front of me and I blinked my thoughts away.

"Yeah, I am." Complete lie. I didn't try to hide it. He'll find out anyway.

"Liar." He messed up my hair.

"Yah!" I slapped his hand away. "I told you not to do that!" I hate my hair being touched, even by him. Everyone I know, knows not to mess with my hair.

"Haha. It's punishement for not listening to me." His smile was stunning. "So... Want to meet my friends?" He asked. His face turned serious with a hint of nervousness in his voice.

"Nah." I said. His face became sullen. "I don't want to meet more ajjushi like you." I stuck my tongue out and his face quickly changed. It lit up.

"Shut up! I'm not that old!" He barked a laugh.

"Fine." I said. "I'll meet them."

"Chincha?"

"Chincharo. Oppa, you're like a kid." I laughed.

"Ok. Meet me here on Saturday at 10am and we'll go meet them together. Araso?"

"Araso!" I promised, but he demanded a pinky swear. I gave in.

---------------------------------------

"Oppa, you're late."

"I know. Mian. I slept in." He was panting, meaning that he ran. I felt jealous. I wish I could run like him again, but I know that I won't be able to again.

"Is there something wrong?" I looked at him and his face was full of worry.

"Huh? What are you talking about?"

"You look sad." He was about to touch my face when his phone rang. I felt a pang of disappointment.

"I know. We're coming. Yeah. We'll be there soon. Shut up you umma. Araso. Annyeong." He hanged up the phone and went back muttering, "Always nagging and I'm supposed to be the leader." I giggled.

He blushed. He. BLUSHED! "Mian. Just talking to myself. Ready?" I nodded. "Cmon."

---------------------------------------

"Doojoon oppa, why are you wearing that?" When we came out of the restaurant he put on a face mask and a hat that totally covered his face. I know for what reason, but I couldn't help but ask. He looked so uncomfortable.

"Nothing. I'm kind of sick." Lies. "I don't want you to catch it."

"Ok." I dropped it. Clearly he didn't want to tell me.

---------------------------------------

We're in an apartment building now. He knocked on a door and it immediately flew open. "AHHHHH! Hyung brought a girl!!!!" said the grayish-blonde haired guy. The same person who opened the door. Four more guys went out to the front door to peek in. I looked down to hide my face.

"Hyung, is she your girl friend?" One guy said.

I felt someone grabbed my arm and led me inside the house. Wait. Now that I looked at it, it looked like a dorm. A guys dorm at that. Oh My God!

"Kikwang, shut up. She's not my girlfriend." He said to the guy who was only wearing a wife beater that his muscular arms was exposed. I don't feel comfortable at all.

"Lies. Dongwoon, do you believe that?" He turned to a guy taller than him. He didn't look like a Korean at all.

"Nope. Not at all. Look how protective he is of her." He nodded our way. I just realized then that his arms are around my waist to hold me clode beside him. Like protecting me from these people. I pushed him, but he didn't budge.

"Yah. Kids, quit it." The guy with a fohawk interrupted. "You know how he gets when he gets protective?"

"Ugh. True." Kikwang and Dongwoon said together. The five guys went to what it seems like their kitchen. I noticed one guy, he's pretty, prettier than me, look back. Our eyes met and he smirked then turned his head towards the kitchen to join the others.
Weird.

"Come on. Let's eat." We were called in, but Doojoon didn't move, firmly holding his ground. I glanced at him and saw his face set and his jaw tight. I tried to snap him out of it, but it took me a lot of effort to do so.

"Oppa!" I pushed him, each push comes with more force. "Yah! OPPA!" I saw him blink what he's feeling before as he turned and looked at me. His protective arm on my waist loosened in the process but didn't let go. His face went back to his brother-like face from the dangerous, ready-to-kill one.

"Gwaenchana, oppa?"

"Yeh." He retorted. "Let's join them and eat." He led me to the kitchen and the tensed atmosphere quickly lifted when we came in the kitchen and Yoseob, I think that's his name, pulled me off Doojoon's protective arm and sit me in a chair. Doojoon didn't want to let go, but the other boy somehow made him let go and it made Doojoon's face more relaxed. I felt relieved.

After eating dinner, we all went back to the living room. We played and laughed. More on laughing for me because all of them were funny. There was one time when we played truth or dare and Yoseob picked dare. He was to look at Kikwang's eyes while they both drink the soda we took out. It's a dare for Yoseob, but somehow Kikwang got pulled into it. They drank while trying to control their laugh, but Kikwang couldn't hold it in and spat the soda in his mouth to Yoseob's face. I laughed so hard my tummy hurts. But now we had to clean up.

"Mi, I'll do it." Hyunseung stopped me from grabbing the rag on the floor. "You can sit down on the couch." His hand didn't let go of my hand after saying that. It felt weird holding someone else's hand besides Doojoon. I felt that there's more to it than it looked. I tried to pull my hand from his, but he squeezed it in return before he let go.

"Haha. You should've seen your face!" I heard Doojoon say to Yoseob.

"Shut up ajjushi. You make more epic faces than me any time." I giggled. I couldn't hide it because it's true. They both turned my way including Hyunseung.

"Yah! Why are you laughing?" Doojoon started walking towards me and I backed up. "I didn't." I laughed, not hiding it now.

Surprised with my reaction, he stopped on his tracks and his smile grew wider. "Oh no, you didn't just laugh at me."

"But I did." I backed up more and he followed until I couldn't anymore. He put his arms out to block my only escape. "Hahaha. Get away from me. You do make epic face."

"No. That's not true."

"It is. Oh. You always pout and it always looked funny instead of cute. Some faces you make, makes you look like an ajjushi too." I burst out laughing.

Before he could say something back, Junhyung together with Kikwang and Dongwoon came in the living room. "Are we calling the police now?" Junhyung said. "I'm seeing a child being abused by an ajjushi." The other boys laughed and I joined them.

---------------------------------------

"Annyeong, Min!" Yoseob, Kikwang, and Dongwoon waved violently. I waved back and said bye. I also bowed to Junhyung and Hyunseung who were standing in front of the door. "Annyeong, Junhyung and Hyunseung oppa."

"Why are you calling them oppa?" Doojoon said.

"Why? Is that wrong? They are my oppas." He snorted. "Don't worry. I have a special name for you." I saw his face lit up. "Ajjushi." The others laughed out loud and I ran for it, well behind Junhyung. I learned that he's the umma. "Ahh! Oppa, he's coming for me."

"Yah! How dare you! I'm not that old."

"You're still old!"

We didn't leave after 30 minutes of bickering. It was really late when we started walking to the bus stop. We were both quiet. Perhaps we were both tired because I was. The night breeze felt nice. It lifts my hair gently. I didn't really pay attention to my hair, whether it's on my face or not until he brushed it off my face.

"Thank yo-" Click. Huh?

Click. Click.

I looked around,but I don't see anything. Another click, but now a bright light flashed and blinded my eyes. I felt Doojoon wrapped his arms around me, the protective way.

Sunday, May 9, 2010

Chapter 7 - Doojoon's POV 2

We have a schedule today at 8 pm, but something unexpected happened and I got nagged at by Jun umma and Yoseob. "What time do you think it is now? Hyung, you're late for an hour. The PDnims were going nuts. We were calling and you weren't answering. You're our lea-" said Junhyung and so on. I blocked him out.

"Doojoon-ah." Yoseob started. He knew when I'm blocking someone out. "What happened? You've been gone the whole day. I know you have school, but you're usually back by 5 and you weren't. Did something ha-" I raised my hand and he immediately stopped talking. My head was starting to hurt again.

"Drop it. I'll talk to the PDs. It is my fault anyway." I walked towards the door to go find the PDs when Hyunseung blocked my way.

"Gwenchana, hyung? You don't look good at all." he asked. Concern can be seen on his face.

I placed my hand on his shoulder and squeezed it, "Gwenchanayo. Don't worry." I left.

---------------------------------------

"Damn it!" I cursed under my breath, making sure that nobody else heard it besides me. I have to watch what I do, say and act in this kind of business and I did something wrong. I have to fix it. At least, just make sure that the PDs were not that angry.

*Flashback*

"Kamsahamnida." I said while wondering what happened when I was out. I woke up on her lap and I don't know how it happened.

"No problem." She stood up and stretched her legs. I bet it's numb. She stayed in that position for hours. "I guess you're sleep deprived?" she asked.

Such a weird question to ask. "Ahh... Yeah."

"Oh." she mouthed.

There's something weird about this. "Can I ask you something?" I said before I could stop the words from coming out of my mouth. Damn.

"Sure." She bent down and started picking up her books and papers. She's not listening.

"Don't you know me?"

She gave me a look like I was crazy, "Should I?"

"Well, just asking. Oh... Well, nevermind then." I took my phone out of my pocket. My eyes went wider than it already is.

"Oh. Shit! It's 8 o'clock already?!" I moved my fingers frantically through my phone's keyboard as I dialed my manager's number. "I'm sorry, but I have to go now." I began sprinting towards the door, but stopped when I remembered something. "Oh and kamsahaeyo for everything." I smiled at her and left.

*End Flashback*

I shook my head trying to get those thoughts out of my head. Right now, I have to focus on our performances and get things straightened up. I turned left and found the PDs. I hesitantly approached them, when my manager caught a sight of me.

"Oh there he is. Doojoon-ah, care to explain?" I went over to where they were standing and did a 90 degree bow.

"Mianheyo PD-nims. It won't happen again. I'm really sorry." I apologized.

"Araso. Don't let this happen again though. I'll let you go only because we kind of still have time. Go prepare. Quick." He waved his hand to dismiss me and my manager.

"Yes." I left with my manager behind my tracks.

"Yah! Where have you been?" His voice sounded irritated.

"School. Had a project to do with a partner." I lied.

He kept talking until we got to our dressing room. I got my hair fixed, but my mind was somewhere else.

My own voice echoes inside my head, "Do you know me?" I closed my eyes and mumbled, "I hope not."